Hymn Struck

上星期日中午。聖瑪莉座堂。我唱聖詩的時候哭了。

唱的是Be Thou My Vision，是我多年來其中一首all time favourites：

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Original lyrics: ancient Irish hymn
Translated into English by Mary Byrne, 1905
Versed by Eleanor Hull, 1912
Music: Slane (Irish)

自從參加教會以來一直都頗喜歡這首詩歌，但真正入心入肺思潮起伏的，這應該是第三次。

第一次，我躊躇滿志，準備迎向生命裡更大的挑戰。是多年前在哥頓康維爾神學院開課不久，某天早會舉行Richard Lints老師的受任典禮，他親自選了這首歌，並以它為分享信息的主題。台上老師英姿颯颯，還很記坐在旁邊的Anna Lai問我，Do you aspire to be up there one day？我搖頭，No。她說，Really？ Are you being honest？ (我還記得Anna說過她的Chinese name is黎敏玲，不過除了這三隻字之外，我未聽過她講第四隻中文字。)

第二次，我剛踏進人生的更衣室，尋找一片喘息的空間，也尋索下半場可走的路。是剛到愛丁堡不久，大學的開學主日禮拜。除了時間地點之外，我對那次崇拜的一切都沒有印象，就只記得唱過這歌，感覺仿似是上主在敲打我窗，免我忘記來愛丁堡幹啥。

第三次，更衣室時日無多，只見前路漫漫何其修遠，但不知往那裡去。此刻，是誰 … 在敲打我窗？是誰 … 在撩動琴弦？

只願我常緊記，Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise, Thou mine inheritance, now and always。自勉。