In the business of theology it is hard not to be controversial - Jurgen Moltmann

Friday, 16 May 2008

虛偽的我 :: hypocritical me

To safeguard myself from fraud, I turned away from an old lady who was raising money for a charity in the street the other day.  When conscience drove me back to her, I told her that I was just preoccupied with something and didn't notice her.  That's simply not true.  What a hypocrite I am!

.................................................

某天正午走在熱刺刺的中環,碰到一位婆婆,拿著貌似賣旗袋的東西,叫我支持一下。我下意識地摸摸褲袋,沒有零錢;望望她的旗袋,「XX老人中心」,沒聽過;想想,這是星期二不是星期三,應該不會賣旗。保護自己慎防被騙的本能,令我對婆婆微笑搖頭便走開了。

然後才看到,原來婆婆還有兩位比較年輕的隊友;我經過他們身邊的時候,再打量一下,但仍舊微笑搖頭....

雖然內心開始覺得不安, 但依然繼續往前,拐了彎,進了地鐵站,下了兩三級樓梯,終於按不住那重新發現的良心,回頭,一面走一面拿出錢包,確定自己真的有零錢,越過了那兩位年輕的隊友,走到婆婆面前,看清楚是賣獎劵不是賣旗。

「阿婆,唔好意思,我頭先諗緊野,唔為意你叫我。幾多錢呀?」
「廿蚊。」

我拿出廿元,塞進旗袋的紙幣孔,謝絕了婆婆的獎劵,「唔駛啦,我淨係捐錢得啦。」婆婆連忙多謝,我說 「唔駛客氣」隨即轉頭便走。

再次步向地鐵站的幾十秒,我充份感覺到自己的虛偽,明明是懷疑婆婆行騙,卻托辭 「諗緊野唔為意」。區區二十元的小惠,救贖不了我的小人之心。

3 comments:

愛丁堡.四十不惑 said...

When did you gone back? I knew that you were away some time ago from your blog. So, coming back for viva?????

Northsea have to come together when you are back again.

ohlala said...

對於街頭募捐,我是有點看法的,即使你是真心願意捐錢買旗,你還記得上個星期幫哪個機構買旗嗎?一般人只是隨機地掏出個零錢給聞所未聞的服務,這情況跟施捨乞兒有什麼分別?
想籌款的也配合這種思維,全都湧上街,難怪會積累出種種懷疑。
或者可以參考:退伍軍人協會固定在11月和平紀念日前賣旗,那朵別緻的紅色罌粟花獨一無二,紀念陣亡將士,每年一度,這份心意就很清晰和動人。

Yam 飲者 said...

不惑:
I've been in Hong Kong for a few weeks already, will be back in Edinburgh very soon. My viva will be in mid June. Please welcome me back and send me off to Hong Kong again :p

ohlala:
有見地。給錢乞兒倒還可能有點personal touch,香港每週賣旗卻是例行公事,相信一般路人的反應會是介乎麻木與厭煩之間。