Sleepless in Edinburgh (as usual)

A sleepless night it was.
I got ready to go to bed at almost 3am, but then did not want to sleep. Then finally went to bed at 6. Waken up by 2 phone calls from Jee in the morning, but fortunately I was able to get back to sleep. Got up at 2pm, finally. How about that!
I told myself not to think about it and let it cool off for a while. But last night I found myself replaying clips from the board meeting over and over again in my mind, especially the conversation with Michael Northcott. L

A good sleep does help, somehow. Watching Wimbledon quarter final in the afternoon and Euro Cup semi final in the evening, and a long walk to the meadow and residential area beyond are good things to do. The meadow is really a nice big piece of grass. Admirable for somebody who has grown up in a crowded city. It’s the first time I ever walk there in daytime; the previous times were when going to Elisabeth Koepping’s place at night with others.

Thought on the meadow – a dialogue with my own self: It’s already a tremendous thing to be able to do a PhD in Edinburgh. It’s something that I have not even dreamt of. Now I am here. Now I have attained recommendation for full PhD candidate status. What’s the big deal of making alterations in the research proposal? After all it’s a good challenge to reflect more deeply theologically. I just need to make sure that it is a theological study of the cinema, instead of (what I fear) becoming an a priori theological statement, or simply (the original idea) a cinematic cultural studies with a theological appendix / packaging.
And I (sort of) figured out why I liked Michael Northcott. Perhaps it’s because of our similarity – he likes to make strong statements about things, and his strong statements, for good for bad, find resonance in me. Except one thing: he is a great fan of Stanley Hauerwas and I am not. No way. That would be the major point of departure in our theology. So it’s not surprising that he is so critical toward my whole approach.

I am glad to see Jolyon’s email this afternoon. (But it was sent last night! Haha!) Well, the ‘well done today’ is somehow encouraging – though I knew I performed pretty okay in the meeting. Even better, he offers a debriefing meeting time of next Monday (5 July), which is exactly what I need.

Right now I am looking forward to the Yale-Edinburgh mission study conference from tomorrow onward. What an opportunity!

(from my personal journal > 30 June 2004)